Conforming to Non-Conformity

Sometimes our attempts to be different make us just like everyone else

It seems like every time I go out, I see one. Nirvana t-shirts are everywhere. Occasionally, a middle-aged balding millennial sports the iconic logo, and I don’t doubt his authentic devotion to the band. But most often, it’s a fresh-faced teenager, sparking me to wonder if she’s ever heard a Nirvana song. I’m barely old enough to remember the emergence of grunge rock from Seattle in the early-90s. It was initially a countercultural movement, an angsty expression of non-conformity to the status quo. But, of course, as it grew in popularity, it morphed into the norm. The object of non-conformity turned into its very opposite to the degree that people young enough to be Kurt Cobain’s grandkids wear the shirts as fashion.

Conformity is an important word for Christians. As redeemed worshipers, we are called to reject conformity to the world as we pursue transformation through the renewal of our minds in Christ (Rom 12:1-2). However, in striking parallel to the Nirvana shirt phenomenon, some efforts at non-conformity are disguised versions of conformity.

Non-conformity for the sake of non-conformity is conformity. Attempting to be different just to be different makes you just like everyone else. When Paul writes that we should not be conformed to this world, he is advocating that we reject the fallen values of this world system in favor of the cruciform ways of Christ. Within this fallen world system, non-conformity serves as a method to stand apart from the masses as an individual. Motivated by pride, the non-conformist seeks attention and approval for going his or her own way. Paul doesn’t want non-conformists; he wants Christ-conformists. Non-conformity is only a good when it leads to conformity to Christ. In other words, obedience to Romans 12:1-2 requires rejection of the pride that pursues non-conformity as its own end.

What does this look like in practice? Consider homeschool culture. For the record, I have homeschooled, currently teach in homeschool co-ops, and encourage parents, when possible, to embrace the challenging but rewarding endeavor. However, I’ve seen this troubling dynamic arise among well-intentioned homeschooling families. In their efforts to resist conformity to the world in educating their children, a posture emerges of rejoicing that “I am not like other men” (Luke 18:11). Homeschool families often become insular, cultivating a spirit of superiority toward those who choose different educational options. Thus, under the cover of not being conformed to this world in education, they conform to this world’s spirit of prideful vanity and self-conceit. The goal of Christ-conformity gets lost underneath the prideful pursuit of non-conformity.

Or consider one other example. We are currently experiencing a revival of muscular Christianity. The proponents of this vision offer a needed corrective to a version of Christianity that’s afraid of offending anyone. Just as Christ offended in pursuit of truth, we must be willing to do the same. The word of the cross, after all, is folly to those who are perishing (1 Cor 1:18). We must not mute that offense for the sake of gaining respect from the world. We need to resist blunting the serrated edge of God’s truth.

I resonate deeply with this message. We are currently living in a therapeutic moment that redefines the unpardonable sin as telling anyone they’re wrong. But as I see people enthusiastically embrace offensive Christianity, I worry that some are turning offense into an end instead of allowing it to be the unintended consequence of the compassionate proclamation of the gospel. We don’t score points by offending people. Offending people is not a goal we should strive for. Winsomeness in uncompromised truth-telling seems to match the apostolic example better than lobbing truth bombs on social media intentionally worded for maximum shock value. 1 Corinthians 1 does not legitimize acting like a jerk in Jesus’ name.

Ironically, some proponents of offensive Christianity take their cues from partisan political culture, particularly the echo chambers of podcast bros who drum up support by increasingly amping up manufactured outrage. It’s a proven formula to gain followers. However, following that script doesn’t make you a non-conformist in the biblical sense. As a matter of fact, seeking to offend people proves you’re just like everyone else. You’re not submitting to truth; you’re using it to make a name for yourself, and that’s about as conformist as it gets.

Non-conformity is not a virtue. Christ-conformity is. Let’s not settle for the t-shirt version of following Christ.