Family Redefined

How Jesus overturns our assumptions again

What is a family? How do you define it? I don’t think many of us have given much thought to such a simple question. Do we need to define it? Doesn’t it seem obvious? You know one when you see one. If forced to define it, most would probably resort to some kind of genetic definition. A family shares a name and DNA and resembles one another. A family emerges when a man and woman get married and have children. It’s not that hard.

But how does that definition hold up when that same family decides to adopt like mine did when we adopted two three-year-olds from Uganda in 2010? In such a case, the genetic definition will only lead to confusion. You’ll get the attendant guarding the free samples at Sam’s Club asking my two children who were adopted, “Where’s your real mom?” in the presence of their real mom. You’ll get the cute and confused elementary school classmate asking my daughter, “How can she be your mom when you’re brown and she’s peach?” You’ll get the neighbor asking if you run a daycare at your house.

The reality of adoption calls for a redefinition of our understanding of family. In Luke 8:19-21, the reality of Christ calls for the same.

It’s a simple story. Jesus is surrounded by crowds, undoubtedly eager to encounter his healing touch. His family arrives to see him, but they can’t get to him because of the thick mass of people. They do, however, manage to get word to him that they’d like to see him, to which Jesus responds, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it.”

If Jesus’s response is considered rude today, it certainly was then, too. Commitment to family was required in ancient Near Eastern culture. If your family showed up to see you, you would honor them by moving heaven and earth to give them priority. Jesus, however, uses the opportunity of their visit to teach everyone that he’s redefining the meaning of family.

Before exploring Jesus’s new definition, let’s establish that Jesus is not overturning the expectation to care for one’s relatives. From the cross, he requested special care for his mother from the disciple he loved (John 19:25–27). Further, Paul instructs Timothy, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8).

So, what is Jesus doing? He’s teaching about the kingdom of Christ. Namely, he’s saying that in his kingdom, blood relatedness gets you nowhere. It’s the same message John the Baptist preached when he said, “Bear fruits in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham” (Luke 3:8). Jesus asserts that membership in the family of God rests on one criterion—allegiance to the word of God.

It's interesting that John mentions Abraham because Abraham helps us understand that Jesus isn’t changing anything here; he’s fulfilling a promise. In Genesis 12:1-3 and 17:6-8, God comes to Abraham to make a covenant. Unconditionally, God promises to give Abraham land, a line of kings, and children. In sum, he promises a kingdom to Abraham’s descendants. Conditionally, Abraham’s relatives will be required to keep the covenant through circumcision, representing circumcision of the heart (Gen 17:9).

As the story unfolds in the pages of the Old Testament, however, a problem emerges. God has made unconditional promises to people who can’t hold up their end of the covenant. The children of Abraham fail to keep the covenant. How can God’s promise to Abraham stand when one side of the covenant is unfulfilled?

Here’s Paul’s answer: “Now the promises were made to Abraham and to his offspring. It does not say, ‘And to offsprings,’ referring to many, but referring to one, ‘And to your offspring,’ who is Christ (Gal 3:16). Jesus is the offspring of Abraham who receives the promises. Jesus is also the only one who keeps the conditions of the covenant. Thus, we enter the blessings of God’s covenant only through Jesus. When we believe the gospel, we become the children of Abraham. Through Christ, we enter the covenant and receive the kingdom. By hearing and doing the word of Christ, we show that we’re in his family.

A lot of people have never known a real family. In a culture where families often fall apart due to sin and brokenness, many have never experienced the unconditional love that only comes by membership in a healthy family. Jesus wants to change that. Adoption isn’t a second-rate option for those who aren’t natural children. Adoption is God’s eternal plan to save his people (Eph 1:3-5). In this family, we’re all adopted; Jesus is the only one there by right. If you’ve never known the love of family, Christ invites you to join his today. His church is a great place to begin.