The Difference Between Repentance and Remorse
It’s not always easy to tell the difference between appearance and reality.
The other week I decided to change the oil in our cars. After tuning my headphones to a long Grateful Dead jam, I drove the first car up onto the ramps and began the process. The first step requires draining the old oil into an oil pan underneath the car—a process that takes several minutes to complete. As I laid in the grass underneath the front of my car jamming out to a classic Jerry Garcia guitar solo, I entered a state of motionless relaxation as I watched the oil drain slowly into the pan.
I had no idea my daughter was watching me out the window of our house. She saw motionless legs protruding from underneath the front of a three-ton vehicle and a father who would not respond to her calling my name because I couldn’t hear her due to my headphones. She thought I was dead. The brief saga ended with my wife walking out to get my attention.
We misinterpret reality more than we care to admit. However, as hard as it is to interpret accurately what’s going on with other people, it may be even more challenging to interpret what’s going on within ourselves. As the prophet Jeremiah proclaimed over 2600 years ago, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it” (Jeremiah 17:9)?
When it comes to following Christ, believers often make the mistake of confusing feeling bad with actual change, falsely concluding that being emotionally moved by the word of God is sufficient. We accept remorse but stop short of repentance. We tell ourselves that if we agree with the sentiment of the preached word, we have obeyed without anything changing in our lives. The Bible warns against this. To be a hearer of the word but not a doer, James says, is to deceive ourselves (James 1:22).
At this point I think it’s important to note that not every sermon requires concrete action. Often God uses his word to strengthen our beliefs and to lead us to deeper faith, hope, and love. Sometimes the word corrects or affirms our attitudes about certain things. In these cases, an outside observer would probably not notice any drastic outward change in our lives.
But what does it look like to actually repent? How do we ensure that we respond obediently when the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin in our lives?
Thankfully, the Bible shows us repentance in many places. The word “repent” indicates two simultaneous actions: turning away from sin and turning toward God. Jesus’s message included a call both to repent and to believe the gospel (Mark 1:15). Many have noted that repentance is one side of a two-sided coin. To embrace Christ by faith necessitates the simultaneous action of turning from your old life.
We see the nation of Israel go through this process in 1 Samuel 7:2-17. The first step is remorse. The text tells us, “All the house of Israel lamented after the LORD” (v. 2). Israel experienced deep emotional regret over her sin. The people recognized that they had offended God. I’m on record here claiming that remorse does not equal repentance, and I stand by that. However, genuine repentance begins with remorse. Remorse alone is not enough, but genuine repentance usually starts there.
Next, in v. 3-4, we see Samuel calling Israel to return to the LORD “with all your heart.” How do they do this? Notice that he calls them to both negative and positive action. They must “put away” their false gods and return to the one true God in whole-hearted worship. Samuel is not calling them here to be better and try harder. Instead, he is calling them to reject the godless way of life they had adopted from their neighbors and to embrace again life under God’s covenant.
We see the same call in the New Testament. In Romans 12:1-2 Paul shows how responding in faith to Christ involves rejecting conformity to this world with its godless values and embracing renewal of our minds through whole-hearted worship. In Colossians 3:5-17, Paul urges the church to “put off” their old way of life and to “put on” their new way of life in Christ. True repentance enacts a process of “out with the old and in with the new.” It will inevitably necessitate concrete action of replacing old habits that dishonor Christ with new habits that honor him.
Finally, in v. 5-6, Israel completes repentance by gathering to worship. Genuine repentance always ends in renewal of worship. God created us to worship, and we are always worshiping something or someone. Repentant people have concluded that only God is worthy of worship, and they will long to gather with other likeminded worshipers to ascribe glory to Christ alone. The process of repentance culminates on Sunday mornings when God’s people gather to worship the crucified and risen Christ.
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