The Unmatched Impact of Being Christians in Front of Each Other

I’ve never cared much for the oft-repeated quote, falsely attributed to Francis of Assisi, “Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” The Christian gospel, by necessity, is proclaimed. The very meaning of “gospel” is “good news.” Without proclamation of the good news about the reign of the crucified, resurrected, and ascended Lord Jesus Christ, humanity remains in hopeless darkness. In just one of the myriads of Bible passages emphasizing the necessity of proclamation, Paul writes, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching” (Romans 10:14)?

I preface my thoughts in this way because I don’t want anyone to wrongly conclude that my advocacy of what I’m calling “being a Christian in front of others” is an argument against preaching. Gospel proclamation is necessary. However, in the realm of Christian discipleship, the church also desperately needs Christians to simply live the Christian life in front of one another.

Several times in the last few weeks, I’ve had the joyous experience of listening as a younger Christian in my church shared with me how something I did provided an encouraging example to them. In each case, what I did was completely unremarkable and unintended. I was merely living my life as a Christian—and clumsily at that—seeking to apply the wisdom of Christ in my different roles.

In one case, a young father who has been a member of my church for several years shared how much benefit he and his wife have derived from watching me and my wife raise our five now-teenaged kids. That conversation was particularly encouraging because we often struggle with feelings of inadequacy about our parenting. That others are looking to us as examples barely registers when you’re in a constant state of survival mode. It’s reassuring when others look at your struggle and see something they want to emulate.

Christian discipleship requires imitation. We don’t learn how to be Christian husbands and wives, parents and employees, citizens and neighbors by reading self-help books. We learn by watching others. It’s always been that way. Jesus spent years training his apostles, life on life. They took his deposit and passed it along to others. The Christian life is a churched life. The Spirit-inspired epistles that make up our New Testament were letters to local churches with the expectation that the church members in those various locales would pursue the Christian life together. Paul instructed the young pastor Titus to teach older women in the church to “train the young women to love their husbands and children” even as he trained younger men “to be self-controlled” (Titus 2:1-6).

Our world is increasingly impersonal. Too often, instead of providing a Christ-centered counterculture, the church has played along in a futile attempt to reach more people. If we make ourselves indistinguishable from culture, we foolishly reason, more people will show up. At some point in our capitulation, however, we lose the very thing to which we’re trying to call them. If we lose the personal, life-on-life nature of Christian discipleship, can we really pretend to be following the one who “became flesh” to “dwell among us” (John 1:14)?

There’s no such thing as “online church,” and discipleship cannot transpire digitally or from a distance. The church, by definition, is a local and physical assembly of “called out ones” that have been redeemed through the blood of Jesus Christ. We need one another. Our growth depends on seeing one another, not just in the weekly Sunday gathering, but also in our homes, neighborhoods, schools, and grocery stores. Young Christians are starving for wise examples. We need to commit to being Christians in front of one another. Jesus left us no other model.

Sometimes I hear objections from hesitant Christians claiming they can’t lead others because they’re barely making it themselves. But it’s our struggles that qualify us to disciple others. The basis for calling others to follow is never, “Do what I do because I’ve mastered this.” That doesn’t help anyone. Rather, we say, “Follow me as I struggle to follow Christ. Sometimes I’m going to fail, and you need to see me fail and get back up because you’re going to struggle, too.”

This type of calling requires intentionality. You can’t be an example to others if you’re never around anyone outside your four walls. Your first step may be simply inviting someone over for dinner or meeting for coffee. Whatever it takes, let’s commit to being Christians in front of each other.

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